June 30, 2004
Gail Kerr
Staff Writer, The Tennessean
Domestic violence victims: Help is available
Valerie Wynn wept when she read the newspaper stories about the tragic Maury County slaying of Freda Elliott and her daughter, Rachel. Son Seth was wounded in the attack. Accused in the shooting: Freda's ex-husband, Parker Ray Elliott.
Wynn is executive director of the Mary Parrish Center, a haven for victims of domestic violence in Nashville. She said that while she had no personal knowledge of the Elliott case, she wishes she had known about it.
She said "it made me sick" to read the quotations from those who said Freda did all the right things, yet her ex-husband - a violent drunk and a stalker, according to court records - is accused of killing them anyway.
"Could we have done something else? Could we have done one more thing? There's always one more thing," Wynn said. "What we really need to do is encourage victims to reach out for services. Who they usually reach out to is friends and neighbors. "There is always someone around this person who knows. Friends and family have got to learn how to be advocates. Call a shelter, call us, let us come down there and teach you. It doesn't take a lot of time. I believe with all my heart that if a client enters into the system at any level and does not have an advocate to walk with them every step of the way, it's a sin."
Wynn acknowledged that ending the violence is harder in rural communities than it is in cities like Nashville because the services are fewer and farther between. But along with being horrible crimes, the slayings have sent a "horrible message" to victims, she said. Already, domestic violence victims who are working their way toward a safe life are saying, "Why bother getting an order of protection? They don't work. Look what happened to this woman."
Freda Elliott had a legal order of protection, which forbade her ex from calling her, visiting or stalking her. He did those things anyway - regularly. Why no one who knew intervened is a mystery.
"The Justice Department just completed a 10-year study, and they found in 80% of the cases, orders of protection do work," she said.
That's where the advocate comes in. A person who is scared and in danger needs someone from a shelter or the court to be their voice. The advocate needs the victim's friends, family and co- workers to be alert enough to call.
"This guy was off the chart," Wynn said. "After a client has taken all your basic steps, sometimes the next step is relocation. Friends, family, sisters, brothers - they need to get professional help when they know there's a dangerous situation."
Domestic violence shelters provide that professional help. Shelters do much more than provide a safe place for a battered woman and her children to stay. Shelters connect victims with information, court advocates, support groups, legal aid, transportation, food, counseling and much more.
If you are afraid for you or your children, or know someone who is in danger, please call for help immediately. If you live outside Metro, they'll help connect you with an advocate or shelter nearby:
- The Mary Parrish Center: 256-5959.
- The YWCA crisis line: 242-1199 or 1-800-334-4628.
- Morning Star Sanctuary: 860-0003.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE.
- Legal Aid Society of Middle Tennessee: 244-6610.
"This is going on every day," Wynn said. "There's an act of family violence every seven seconds in the United States. There is someone right now who is hiding under their bed who will be our next homicide."
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